He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
