Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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