Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
