So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
