ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
