i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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