all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
