hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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