also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
