Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize