i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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