i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I supernannyed him into submission
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