doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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