I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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