Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize