ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
