His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
