Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I will die if light touches me.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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