Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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