My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
