The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize