I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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