I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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