I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
