are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
