my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
