so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she pinky promised me she was 18
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
