Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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