just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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