im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
