...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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