Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize