For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm at about main and main street
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
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what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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