Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize