I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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