every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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