Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
