Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
