Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
