So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so much tequila, so little girl.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
