Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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