I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
be right there i have to get my cape
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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