FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize