Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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