I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
