hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize