I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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