The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
