hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize