Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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