So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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