dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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