Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
