if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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