i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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