I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You made out with two different species that night
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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