At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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