If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i think im in europe. pls send help
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
