the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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