DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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