What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
