kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
