Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize