We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
