I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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